Freedom of the Nerds

I am finally giving up.....funny this sounds similar to the last post....well to all my crazy fans...(read me) it is...and!!!!! it isn't......I am finally going to admit it. I am a nerd. Waking up every morning, pretending to be that which I am not has failed me. I want freedom....real freedom...freedom that last more than a min, a hour, a day or week....freedom that never ends...and I can't get it trying to be what I'm not....so I am admitting I'm a nerd...and I like it...a lot...now I'm no gamer, but I do listen to Jazz music, write on a blog, like math, science, and questioned bringing my K'nex collection to school, I really don't want to grow up, I enjoy the occasional Techno Beat, I become addicted to video games and have spent weekends playing Halo, Warcraft and Age of Empires, I built my own computer, I've grown quite fond of country music...I dance and sing in my room when I'm alone...and sometimes when people are around, I make nerdy jokes, I don't really party, I want to do well in school so I can work in a cool job with Physics, or something cutting edge, robots are neat, I read philosphy books (I know this one is a killer), I like gap clothes especially those that reflect styles of the 1930's -1950's, I'm pretty sure I'd wear dress clothes more often than jeans...maybe...(the fact that I question this is whats really nerdy) and I really wish I had classes sometimes, I enjoy learning, Within a timeframe of a single word conversation I will have said "did you know....blank.." in my mind, Politics are cool, my friends think I should have a pocket protector, I make lists (this one is for sure a killer), in my dorm room my desk area reflects a cubical, I perfer clean stuff, I want glasses, I buy things because they have zippers, pockets and rather shiney stuff, I really like shoes, my computer has TWO count um TWO cd burners, my friends I have to admit are nerds as well, I like art, I can't draw or paint or really do anything that requires true artistic talent, I like machines, I hide all the nerdy things about myself to try and be cool, only real nerds think coolness still matters, and I just can't do it, its so much better being who you are, and guess what?... its freeing, I don't have to make excuses for who I am...I can be me...just me...no need for all the things like "relationships" (read below) to validate myself, no need for cool clothes, no need for lust, I just want to be comfortable, content and free.