Success

Yesterday the on campus American Society of Mechanical Engineers held an event where a Systems Engineering Manager from the General Electric Company Spoke. The speaker was in town for his first year working on the Joint-Engineering Council at my school, and had some free time mid-afternoon to speak about his GE and his career path. The presentation was very good, he gave a general background of the GE company, the current departments and operations at GE, some specifics on the area he worked in (Aviation), specifics on what he worked with within GE Aviation, an overview of his career path, and then some advice on getting involved with GE, other corporations or what he felt was important if trying to climb the "corporate ladder." This was all fine and well, but it got me thinking about my own "career" path and life.

In highschool I was a good student, I didn't study much, got A's and B's and graduated with slightly higher then a 3.75 GPA. In highschool I was part of what's known as "The Acadamey of Finance." It was called a "shool within a school" that taught kids basic accounting skills, Macro and Micro Economics, Banking and the money supply and feds, and other basic economic ideas. It was an okay program but by no means "in-depth" or producing students of economic genious, but it sufficently gave students the opportunity to interact with business. Through this Academy I took part in Youth Business Adventure, a one week business camp during the summer, and was able to secure a paid intenrship with a CFO in town. Anyway I always felt confident, that I was able to communicate well, and I recieved much praise from business people and my peers for being exceptionally astute.

For along time I haven't felt this confidence, praise or sucess. It's like I went off to college, and am I no where living up to the expectations that were once held for me. I look at all the opportunities I've had to step up in leadership positions, to stand out and haven't. I feel frustrated and like a failure. Something burns inside me to standout, to do well, to be ahead of my peers, to rise above the rest or be on the cutting edge.

Talking with this speaker I felt green, unconfident, unsure. The speaker was nice, but I felt like he didn't care much about my questions, that he thought they were stupid, or ignorant. I wanted him to see the capabilities that I feel I have. I wanted him to see my communication skills, my leadership skills, my managing skills, and success. I quickly realized that I haven't displayed any of this. I am not involved with any on campus groups, I haven't been a good leader in the groups I've had, my GPA is lacking, I don't study or time manage well, and my resume sucks. I'm just frustrated. I look at some of my friends who look profesional, act profesional, are involved with many things on campus and using school opportunities to help shape and change campus. What do I do? I got class, and come back to my room....nothing. I want all this to change, but it doesn't happen over night. I'm caught in the "American Quick Fix Ideaology." Wheres the QVC 1-800 number, wheres the next wal-mart product that can make me profesional over night. Wheres the "buy your sucess now" internet add to solve my problems. I want change, I don't know where to start, and on top of it all I don't know where this drive to suceed comes from, or what pushes this wanting desire.