Love

I guess I just never experienced it before, never experienced what love could be like. I've met plenty of girls in my life, and made plenty of mistakes, but never had a moment like this. I sat there on the couch and she sat next to me. We watched a movie, and I made her laugh. All I wanted to do was make her laugh...watch her smile, watch her curl up like someone had tickled her way deep down inside. She wasn't even close to me. I didn't have my arm around her, nor did we hold hands, infact a pillow seperated us, just 2 friends watching a movie. She was so real, so there. I toil all day, struggling with lust, with sin, with sex, with wanting a relationship, and now all I can do is sit in the cool of the night and listen to the rain and think about her. Think about how real she was, how I'd give everything up, everything, to have moments like that. The feelings just put every other lousy attempt at "love" to shame. I just wanted to hold her close, to never let this moment go. To smell her hair, to tell her she was beautiful just because she was there and to share life like one. I don't even know if she likes me, I could just tell she wanted to be there, and I wanted to be there too. I never even thought about anything sexual at all. All I could think about was how good it felt just to have someone there to watch a movie with and laugh. Someone who wanted to be there. Maybe it was the movie, maybe it was the way a love story can make your heart melt. Nothing was even really said, but nothing has ever felt more real. I don't even know if I like this girl, or if she's the "one," all I know is that image of what it could be like (with anyone) will put to shame any fantasy world I could create. I wanna never let that moment go. If I ever needed an excuse to run from temptation tonight would be it. God I'm sorry. I didn't realize what I was doing until now. I had now Idea how much better life good be. May you bless her. May you bless my future wife. May you be praised for such a holy gift. May all mankind enjoy the love for one another you have created for them and May I now become the man who you want me to be. Amen.